Tuesday, May 18, 2010

My Heart Broke Yesterday...
























And I don't think it will ever be the same. It's almost 4:00 in the morning, almost 12 hours ago since I had to say goodbye to our Denver, otherwise known as 'Big D.' He was a special boy to me, my 'furr child,' yet he was more than this to me. He was always there for me - no matter what. And I always knew it. I know he's here now, even as I'm writing this, but it will never be the same. I hope you will come with me as I go down memory lane and tell you about my boy.
He had a big heart of gold, so big, in fact, that I wish his little kidneys were as vibrant as his heart. He was beautiful and handsome, with the most gorgeous green eyes! And a personality that was out of this world! He was my snuggle boy!!
I remember the day we brought him home. We were at the ASPCA in PA and my husband fell for him first. I was looking at the other kitties and as I turned around - there was my husband in this little 'room' which measured about 3 feet wide by 5 feet deep. My husband had hoisted this little ball of furr, about 3 or 4 pounds at the time, onto his shoulder and there he was - dripping and drooling from every place on his body. He was a mess - ear mites, fleas, worms, a cold, the list goes on and on. You name it, my Big D had it! Yet through all of this, he had this enormous heart that was so big that it drew you in and you looked past everything else. He must have felt awful, but his bright eyes were 'smiling,' if you will.
There was a sign on the cage that read something to the effect that he was set to be 'put down' the following day. Well, that could not be... Denver was meant to be ours.
We brought this drooling, dripping 'mess' with his huge heart home and, of course, our orange kitty, Calypso, (you will see him in the pictures above. I had adopted him directly from a dumpster) thought we were crazy! Everywhere Calypso went, my newest child, Denver (we lived in Co once and I was one of John Denver's biggest fans, still am, in fact!) followed. I guess Calypso realized that he was home to stay, so eventually, he showed Big D the ropes - so to speak! My boys were inseperable until we lost Calypso back in 2004. Another time my heart broke.
Over time, my Big D grew to weigh 21 pounds! He was always there for me. In bed, on the sofa, in my art room, at the door when I got home. Those beautiful green eyes would look at me and I knew I was loved. I never doubted this. And let me just say that even at 20+ pounds, this guy could speed around the house and chase toys, treats and even our little girl kitty, Spirit, as if he were a sleek little kitten! And if this guy was on the bed or sofa with me, he pretty much slept or laid where he wanted! We would move around him because he wouldn't budge if he didn't want to! Denver was the light of my life - my big ball of love that I could escape to when the world outside got to be a little too much to take. I could come home, close out the craziness of the world, and my D was here - ALWAYS!
Unfortunately, that came to an end yesterday. Those dreaded words from the vet - Denver is in renal failure. Those darned kidneys of his. God gave him the biggest heart a kitty could have, in fact, I think it weighed 20 pounds. But his kidneys weren't as big and healthy. We put my boy to sleep about 4:20 PM Phoenix time - yesterday afternoon.
My heart is breaking. I see him everywhere, and I don't think I'll ever be the same again. I know I was blessed to have him, but for me, 12 years wasn't enough.
Sleep well and be at peace, my sweet boy, Denver. I know you are with Calypso right now. I'm sure my boys must be having fun again somewhere over Rainbow Bridge. I know that he will be OK, but for now, my heart has been through a shredder..
x0x0 Denver...I'll see you again sometime and I know you are still with me. I love you... Thank you so much for spending your life with us. We are truly blessed.




8 comments:

A Creative Dream... said...

Oh Sharon, I am so, so very sorry. These babies become so much a part of the fabric of our lives and work their way so into our hearts...it's horribly difficult when they pass on. I'm so happy for the time you brought such joy to each other, and so very sad for your loss.

Maria said...

I cry with you, Sharon!!! I have lost too many cats, and they all took a piece of my heart with them. But life without them would not have been "life." They brought life to me and my house, so I had to accept the pain of loss. Cats are sooo supportive and always there. They say cats are stand-offish and cold, but then again, those people probably never had a cat!
((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

Maria

RekindleMe said...

Thank you to both of you. Your words mean so much to me and are truly a comfort. xoxo Sharon

Francy said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Michelle Palmer said...

Our little ones are treasures...
Wishing all those wonderful memories will warm your hearts pain.
Sunny smiles...
Michelle

Diane said...

After your kind words about my Kenya, I came to your blog only to see that you had lost your baby last week. I can't tell you how sorry I am. They are such a part of our families and I know how much you will miss your beloved Denver. His memory will always live on in your heart and I know he's in a happy place. Take care of yourself and thank you again for your kindness towards me even though you were grieving your own loss.

RekindleMe said...

Thank you to all for the kind words. We were lucky to have my boy and he will always be with us.

Angela said...

Funny how when you need it you just stumble across something unexpected. I cry as I read this maybe in part because I just lost my Dad June 28th. I feel sadness at your loss. If you would like to read my tribute to him it is at www.angelaswhispers.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing this beautiful tribute to Denver. By the way I love your artwork.